It seems like once you become pregnant, people think that you are no longer a human being and can give you their opinions as they please. This is going to be a rant blog, because I have had enough! First time mom or not – I don’t want your opinion.
I Didn’t Want Your Opinion Then
When I was pregnant I received my fair share of comments regarding what people thought I should or shouldn’t be doing. I continued bartending and serving up until I was just about 34 weeks pregnant. There were lots of people who thought it was appropriate to tell me they thought I shouldn’t have been working that long. I had many of customers tell me that my belly was either “too small” or “too big” for how far along I was. I either wasn’t eating enough or eating too much.
One of my pregnancy cravings was slurpees and I was largely pregnant throughout the summertime months. I had a lady lecture me that there was too much sugar in there so I was harming my baby. My all time favourite was the lecture I received through an Instagram DM from a girl I went to University with who I hadn’t spoken to in years about safe sleep. All because I posted a photo showing off my crib set I received as a shower gift.
But here’s the thing! I went to ALL of my scheduled midwife appointments. We discussed my health. We discussed the fundal height of my bump. They never discussed my weight gain because they didn’t believe it was necessary as it wasn’t the most accurate way to measure how baby was growing. I did lots of my own research on safe sleep. And as for my craving – I’m aware it wasn’t the most healthy option. But I did my glucose testing and passed. And if a slurpee is what made my pregnant self happy on a miserable, hot summer day – then SO BE IT.
I Don’t Want Your Opinion Now
Recently, I was out at a gathering and I brought Camdyn with me to show him off. There were a couple of side comments about how he was “too young” to be exposed to that many people. There were comments when we got there about how he was tired, so he shouldn’t be there – even though he had a solid 2 hour nap just before we had went. Someone even thought they should tell me when we should leave since “he looked tired”.
Here’s the thing. I know my son. I know what he can handle. He has had his first round of shots. I even received my flu shot (for the first time in my whole life!) and I am breastfeeding, so Camdyn receives the anti-bodies from my milk. I knew that he was only going to be held by people that I know. We want him to get used to being exposed to different people besides Connor and I. But I shouldn’t have to explain myself or defend my decisions as a mother. I was enjoying myself! Showing off my baby and visiting with people I hadn’t seen in months. And while I mostly enjoyed myself, I left feeling a tad bit upset.
Why Does This Happen?
I think that there are two reasons why people feel compelled to just give their opinion. 1) I’m a first time mom. Some of the individuals giving their opinion are seasoned veterans. Some of them are even grandmothers. 2) I’m “too young” in a lot of people’s eyes to be a mom in the first place. But that doesn’t matter.
I care a lot about Camdyn. More than anything in the world actually. And I want what’s best for him. I’ve done lots and lots of research regarding pretty much every decision I’ve made. And if I did want an opinion, I ask my healthcare professionals, my mom, my mother-in-law, and other mom friends. What is right for me and my baby, may not be right for you and yours. And that is totally okay.
Mom’s + Dad’s – what are your “favourite” unsolicited advice/opinions that you’ve received since becoming a parent? How do you handle it? Until next time. XX
Check out my other mama thoughts posts below:
- Dad’s Should Take Parental Leave
- Making Mom Friends
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